“The Most Important Words” #Important Words

August 30, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

“Learn to speak kind words; no one resents them.” Carl Rowan, Syndicated Columnist

Our words have power. Word can motivate, change us, change others, and inspire. Consider the following:

You see things and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’” ~ George Bernard Shaw
You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” ~ Leo Aikman
In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
“If someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect from you 5 cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?” ~Unknown Source

So think about your words because others do. Think before you speak and remember:

“The 6 most important words: I admit, I made a mistake.”
“The 5 most important words: You did a good job.”
“The 4 most important words: What is your opinion?”
“The 3 most important words: If you please.”
“The 2 most important words: Thank you.”
“The most important word: “We”

(Source – Dennis Kimbro, Author)

In the last week, have your words helped or hindered your relationships? Are the most important words used in your vocabulary on a daily basis? What can you do to be more mindful about the words you speak?

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Family, Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Parent, Resolutions, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Are You For Real” #RU4Real”

August 28, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

One of my favorite stories is called “The Velveteen Rabbit”. It’s about a Velveteen rabbit that longs to be real so that he could be special and not looked down by more expensive mechanical toys because “he was just a velveteen rabbit”. Ironically, the Velveteen Rabbit feared becoming real, because when talking to his only friend, the Skin Horse, becoming real seemed painful.

On his journey of ‘becoming REAL’, he learns several important lessons, the core of which is reflected in the following passage:

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit to the Skin Horse, “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

(Source – “The Velveteen Rabbit: How Toys Become Real” by Margery Williams)

So in the end the Velveteen Rabbit learned that being REAL was not about what he was on the outside or even what others said about him. He learned that BEING REAL was about BECOMING REAL TO OURSELVES AND TO OTHERS and sometimes that might hurt. He learned that when he allowed others to see him – the core of who he was, they loved him no matter what. He learned that being real didn’t happen overnight but “bit by bit.” But most importantly he learned that being real was not about being like everybody else. Rather being real was about being himself and that was more than enough.

Are you being real… to yourself?…with others? If not, ask yourself “why? and commit to showing who you are “bit by bit”. In the end, the ones that matter, will stay. In the end, by allowing your light to shine, you will give others the courage to do the same.

Career, Goal Setting, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Resolutions, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Are You Dreaming?”

August 25, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

“Every dream comes with a price. Nothing is free. The dream is free, the journey is not.” John Maxwell

Like many of you reading this, I have had life challenges, some expected but many were not. Those challenges have put me on a journey of self-discovery and re-evaluation; a re-evaluation of what I deem to be truly important. It has caused me to really reflect both on what I am doing with my life and the type of person that I am becoming. It’s caused me to think about my dreams and the realities of “why” I have not pursued some of those dreams.

Have you thought about why you have chosen not to pursue certain dreams, that “thing” that you know within your core is your destiny, your purpose; but for some reason you have not pursued “the dream”? What’s holding you back?

To aid you in this self-discovery, consider the following key questions from one of my favorite motivational authors, John Maxwell. As you reflect on these questions, assess how real your dreams are and determine what you need to do to move from dreaming to doing:

Is my dream really my dream? Are you living your dream or what others think you should do? Have you fully committed and bought into your own dreams?
Do I clearly see my dream?
Am I depending on things in my control or am I depending on things out of my control to achieve my dream? Do I have the skills, abilities, and talents to accomplish my dreams or do I need others to help me?
Do I have the physical energy and passion to achieve my dream?
Do I have a strategy to achieve my dream?
Who do I have around me that can help me achieve the dream?
Am I willing to the pay the price for my dream?
Am I moving closer to my dream? Have I prioritized the activities that must be done daily to move me closer to achieving my dream? Is this activity that I am working on moving me closer of farther away from my dream?
Am I enjoying the journey to my dream? Does my dream bring joy and excitement to my life?
Does my dream benefit others? “Our dream really isn’t about us. It’s about the people we serve. How is your dream helping others? Be a river not a reservoir.” ~ John Maxwell

(Author of Questions – John Maxwell)

Stop dreaming and start doing the things today to help you achieve your dreams for tomorrow. (Source – Valerie Burton, Motivational Author)
Balance focusing on the future with “maximizing your present moments on the journey so that your “daily life becomes richer and more enjoyable.” (Source – Valerie Burton, Motivational Author).
Finally, as you go about the business of doing and achieving, be mindful of who you are being and becoming. (Source – YOU)

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Family, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Sisters, Uncategorized

“I Was Here”

August 21, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

On October 30, 2011, my oldest sister, Peggy, was diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer. On December 17, 2011, she passed.

Peggy’s passing got me to thinking about my own life. The choices that I have made and the choices that I chose not to make out of pride, fear, or uncertainty.

It got me to thinking about the legacy that would I leave. Would my legacy paint a picture of a person that gave the best of who she was to those she met and those she loved, would my legacy be that I made a difference in someone else’s life, would my legacy show that I made a difference in my own life?

As I ponder on my legacy, I recognize that our legacy starts with we do each day. “It’s what we do in between that matters.” (Source – Author Unknown)

It’s like one of my favorite songs “Live Like You Were Dying” (Source: Tim McGraw).

Live as though your life matters. Dream as though life has no limits, only possibilities. Push beyond life’s challenges by listening to the lessons that each brings. Give the best of who you are to the world because you do make difference. Your presence, your existence, makes a difference to those you love, your co-workers, and your customers.

As you progress through life and go about the business of being and becoming, will your legacy show”that you lived, that you loved, that you did, that you have done” (Source: “I Was Here”, sang by Beyoncé). Will your legacy say, I WAS HERE.

What can you do each day to show that you are here?

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Career, Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Success – How Do You Define It?”

August 21, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

I’m often asked what it takes to be successful. Are there some key steps to achieving career success? With that in mind, I’d like to share some ideas on how to do that:

Core Values: Always remember that keeping the customer first, being innovative, having integrity and respect are not just catch-phrases but represent the core to an organization achieving long-term sustainable success. Keep this in mind when you have to make decisions that will be defining moments of your character.
Me, Inc.: The days are gone when you could show up, do your work and expect to be noticed; therefore, you have to distinguish yourself through personal branding. Personal branding is more than just your external appearance, knowledge, skills and abilities; it’s linking all that to who you are at the heart – your values, your vision.
V2PR: Values, Vision, People, Results.
- Values – know upfront what your values are. You know what they are when you live them regardless of the reward or consequence. Once you know your values, determine if they are aligned with your organization’s values. Your organization needs you to be accountable to their core values because you are an integral part of their success.
- Vision – Understand where you want to go and again determine if your vision is aligned with your organization’s vision; know what your resources are to achieve your goals and know that you help your organization achieve their vision when you meet and exceed performance expectations.
- People – know that people, both internal and external customers, are why your company and your job exists. Treat them with respect.
- Results – know your key performance indicators (KPIs) and achieve them. That’s a key way to get noticed and recognized for being a valued contributor.

All these elements will help you to be successful, to stand out as a personal brand.

That’s what success is – preparing for opportunity before it happens so when it does, you can achieve your goals. “You can work hard at a job and make a living but if you work hard on you, you can make a fortune. A fortune not just related to money but a fortune in terms of knowing you have lived up to your potential.” (Source of Quote – Author Unknown).

Don’t fear failure. Rather fear not living up to the greatness that is within you.

How do you define success? Are you taking action on a daily basis to achieve your goals? If not, what’s holding you back? If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

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Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Resolutions, Starting Over, Uncategorized

Starting Over

August 20, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder 1 Comment

“There is no disgrace to start over and begin anew.

Bebe Moore Campbell, Journalist & Writer

I was watching Dr. Phil and he said two profound statements that when I first heard them, I said “This is deep.” So I thought I would share with you.

Profound statement 1: Dr. Phil was talking to a father who had lost control of his kids and his family. There were many reasons but a key reason was that he was focused on giving things vs. giving time because he thought this would bring his family happiness. Dr. Phil sensed the frustration of the father and said to him “You are not a bad person. I know that you are willing to die for your family but are you willing to live for them.” This is when I had my first “this is deep moment.” I thought about what I value most and asked myself, am I fully present? Am I showing right now in my daily interactions and communications that I’m here for those people who mean the most to me vs thinking that I will have plenty of time in the future to show that I care.

Profound statement 2: “There are moments in life where all things wrong can be turned around.” As I reflect on the past 8 months of 2014, like many people I think about what went well, what went wrong, and what I want to be better moving forward. However, to truly have the life that we want, we have to decide to not let what happens to us in life make us become a passenger along for the ride. Rather, as motivational speaker Les Brown would say, we have to be the driver and say to ourselves “I got this. I am happening to life.” We all know that rough times will befall us but it is our reaction to it that impacts our success. So when life happens and you fall down: GET BACK UPAND START OVER. KNOW THAT YOUR DREAMS CAN BE YOUR REALITY – YOU JUST HAVE TO CLAIM YOUR DESTINY!!!

Think about from a professional and personal level, what do you want to change for the better; what can you start over and begin anew? What’s in your control? Who are your resources that can help you achieve your goals?

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Communication, Parent, Uncategorized

The Power of Words: “What Are You Teaching Others to Live With”

August 20, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

“Learn to speak kind words. Nobody resents them.”

Carl Rowan, Syndicated Columnist

I have a 5-year-old son. As a parent, I’m always looking for ways to be both a better parent and a better person. Last year, I read something that touched my heart and my mind. My heart because it caused me to be self-reflective on how I interacted and communicated with my son. My mind because it was simple but deep. Deep in the sense that I could see how I could apply what I read to my life personally and professionally.

With that said, I’d like to share what I read, which on the surface is about the positive or negative impact that a parent can have on a child based on how they communicate and interact with their child.

Beneath the surface though, we can get a greater meaning. . . It’s also about the power of one. The power of one person deciding what type of impact that they want to have in their interactions and communications with those in their lives:

“If a child lives in criticism, he learns to condemn; if a child lives with fear, he learn to hate; if a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself; if a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative; if a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love; if a child lives with honesty, he learns truth; if a child lives with sincerity, he learns to have faith; if a child lives with love, he learns that the world is a wonderful place in which to live.” (Source – Dennis Kimbro, Author of “Daily Motivations for African-American Success”)

After reading this, I thought to myself, “When I interact and communicate with others each day, what am I teaching them to “live with?” Am I providing positivity or am I allowing the not so positive things that can sometimes happen in my life to create negative experiences for those who share my life, my space. Am I taking responsibility for my actions and reactions when I have not exhibited the best of me to those in my world? What can I start doing now to create positive communications and experiences for those that I interact with?

What can you do to create positive interactions and communications with your co-workers and those you see daily or regularly? What’s in your control? For the next 30 days, can you pledge to be positive in how you interact and communicate with others? If everyone on your work team and/or your personal life committed to be positive for the next 30 days, what difference would that make in your daily work experience… what difference would that make in your world?

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Goal Setting, Life Lessons

Making Your Bed

August 20, 2014 Bridgette Monique Wilder Leave a comment

When I was a little girl, my mom always told me to make my bed because it would be my first accomplishment of the day and because when someone walked into my room, it was a representation of me.

When I got older, my Mom told me to be careful how I made my bed because one day, I might have to lie in it.

When I first heard her say this, I thought, what is mom’s obsession with beds about? However, as I grew up and life happened to me, I realized my mom really was not teaching me about making beds but rather my mom was teaching me some important life lessons.

Lesson 1) Making my bed in the morning was really about the importance of having a goal and then putting forth the effort to achieve it; it was also about the power of image – how what we present to the world through our words and actions creates a perception of who we are.

Lesson 2) Being careful about how I made my bed because one day I might have to lie in it was just a gentle reminder that every action has a reaction. When we do what is right because it’s the right thing to do, we gain so much more – sometimes, we are not the direct benefactor but it may be a family member, a friend, or co-worker that does; however, when we focus on doing what is wrong, or doing whatever it takes to achieve a goal even when we know it’s wrong, there are consequences in that people view us in a negative light.

There may be times when we see people who are intimidators or not forthright in their interactions who appear to be achieving their goals but at what cost. So always remember that achieving goals is great but how you achieve them is of greater importance. As you go about achieving your goals, be mindful of who you are being and becoming.

Lesson 3) The final lesson that I learned is that our actions are really just a reflection of our thoughts. If we focus on what we don’t want or like, we get more of it. However, if we focus on what’s in our control, what we want, we can achieve more than we ever believed that we could.

At the end of each day, ask yourself, have you been mindful of who you are as a person? Have you lived that day by doing what is right toward the people in your life – both personally and professionally? Have you lived that day knowing that your actions and words reflect who you are? Have you lived that day where you can say “I was here”.

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Through my blog "Something To Think About", I share life lessons, personal experiences, stories, and quotes to get you to think about what is important to you and what actions you are committed to doing to be the best that you can be both personally and professionally.

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Through my blog "Something To Think About", I share life lessons, personal experiences, stories, and quotes to get you to think about what is important to you and what actions you are committed to doing to be the best that you can be both personally and professionally.