One of my favorite stories is called “The Velveteen Rabbit”.  It’s about a Velveteen rabbit that longs to be real so that he could be special and not looked down by more expensive mechanical toys because “he was just a velveteen rabbit”.  Ironically, the Velveteen Rabbit feared becoming real, because when talking to his only friend, the Skin Horse, becoming real seemed painful.

On his journey of ‘becoming REAL’, he learns several important lessons, the core of which is reflected in the following passage:

 “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit to the Skin Horse,  “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

 “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

 “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

 “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

(Source – “The Velveteen Rabbit: How Toys Become Real” by Margery Williams)

So in the end the Velveteen Rabbit learned that being REAL was not about what he was on the outside or even what others said about him.   He learned that BEING REAL was about BECOMING REAL TO OURSELVES AND TO OTHERS and sometimes that might hurt.  He learned that when he allowed others to see him – the core of who he was, they loved him no matter what.  He learned that being real didn’t happen overnight but “bit by bit.” But most importantly he learned that being real was not about being like everybody else. Rather being real was about being himself and that was more than enough.

Are you being real… to yourself?…with others?  If not, ask yourself “why? and commit to showing who you are “bit by bit”. In the end, the ones that matter, will stay. In the end, by allowing your light to shine, you will give others the courage to do the same.