A few weeks ago, two television shows, Law & Order: SVU and Ransom, focused on the same key issue of sexual abuse of children. It’s an issue that is treated as unspeakable because of the atrocity of violating a child.  Yet by not speaking up, we teach victims that they can’t speak up. We teach victims they must live in silence with the shame and the fear that results from having a predator take their innocence, take their ability to trust, and take their ability to believe in themselves.  We teach victims that being a victim is what they are vs. what happened to them.

It’s time to stop telling our kids to not to sit on that relative’s or family friend’s lap because we know that something is not quite right about them.  It’s time to stop thinking that the sexual abuse of a child happens in other families or to certain “types” of people. It’s time to stop being silent.

I’ve heard all my life that children are our future. If that’s true, what future are we creating for a child that has experienced the ultimate betrayal of trust yet doesn’t get the help they need to heal.

I wrote a poem called “She” that addresses the impact of sexual abuse on a child and the adult that they grow up to be. My hope in reading the poem, is that you don’t focus on who the poem is about. Rather I hope you can embrace the power of the words and decide to be the voice of a child that can’t speak for themselves. By doing so, you will help that little girl or little boy to know that they are not alone. And if you were once that little girl or little boy, this is what I know for sure, you can get past what happened to you. It won’t be easy so get the help that you need. There is no shame in saying out loud what happened. The only shame will be is if you give up on you…. so don’t.

“She”

She understood the darkness of the world

For her innocence was taken when she was just a little girl

For at 3, she lost the value of trust

When a monster violated her with every thrust

And at 12

A cousin showed her another meaning of hell

So she never knew what it meant to be a child

She never knew what it meant to dream even for just a little while

For life, had taught her at a tender age

That someone else’s undealt rage can hurt another

That you can’t always be protected, not even by your mother.

She learned to pretend so that she could survive

She prayed and hoped that her memories were just a lie

Until one day, she met a man

Who simply said “I understand”

He only wanted to be her friend

And to help her believe that life could have a happy end

He wanted her to know that life was about living

Not surviving

But thriving.

He wanted her to believe that what she needed to be happy was already within

She just had to let the past end.

And let her present begin.

You may wonder who she is

Who she finally turned out to be?

Did she travel the world?

Did she finally realize that she was a special girl?

To that I ask

Does it matter?

Because the real point of it all

Is that she lived

She mattered

But if you must know

She could be you or your neighbor down the street

But in reality…

She is me.