Category Archives: Resolutions

Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Resolutions, Values

“Why Not Me”

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“I am not what happened to me.  I am what I choose to become.”

Emma Watson

In 2012, I had a procedure to remove vocal polyps. It was a procedure that prevented me from talking for 4 – 6 weeks.  It was my third vocal procedure in 3 years.

After my second procedure, my doctor advised me that I had a recurring condition, that he was  not sure why it was  recurring, and he didn’t know how often it would recur. Needless to say, the first thought that came to my mind was “Why me?” My mind then began to spin with thoughts such as:

1) My 3-year old son has never heard my real voice, will he ever?

2) I’ve been in HR for over 20 years and I need my voice, what am I going to do if this keeps happening?

3) What lesson am I suppose to be learning from this recurring event?

4) What else can happen to me?

After I allowed myself to think these unproductive thoughts and allowed my tears to dry, I gave myself a reality check. I began thinking about all of my prior life challenges that I have overcome. I just did not survive but I triumphed. So now instead of asking “Why me?” I ask myself, “Why Not Me?” What can I learn from this life challenge that will allow me to be a better person, to be a better giver of myself to those that I encounter, and to be a better mother to my young son?

Like all of us, I don’t know what tomorrow brings but why worry about what hasn’t happened. Fortunately, my doctor was able to identify the reason for the recurrence and I’m healthy today.

This experience, this challenge, has taught me the importance of my daily choices.

I choose to dream about tomorrow but live for today. I choose to learn, to love, to give. I choose to be living proof that with my faith coupled with positive actions that I am powerful beyond measure  and I can overcome anything. Instead of life happening to me, I choose to happen to life.

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What life challenges are you facing today? What can you learn from those challenges that will help you to move from victim to victor?

Family, Legacy, Life Lessons, Making a Difference, Resolutions, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“I Am Enough” #imenough

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I recently saw a You Tube video entitled “I’m Enough” by a band called The Mrs.  The video was focusing on uplifting women’s self- image, to help reinforce that we are more than what we see on the outside, we are an inspiration to those that love us.

Although the focus was on women, it is an impactful message for both men and women, boys and girls. So many of us grow up believing that we are not enough – not pretty enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not strong enough, etc.

But what if we flipped the script, and saw ourselves the way others see us. By others, I’m not talking about people who don’t know us or show through their actions that they don’t value us. By others, I mean the people who love us for just being ourselves. They “get” that what is most important about us is who we are and not what we are: Who – caring, giving, supportive, loving vs. What – nurse, doctor, teacher, homemaker. They “get” that we bring joy, inspiration, a sense of well-being, and much more to their lives.

So close your eyes, think of someone you love, that loves you. Now imagine, you are looking in a mirror. You see your reflection but you also see your love one who is telling you how much you mean to them, how much you impact their life in a positive way. Now open your eyes and embrace the feeling of those words. Look in the mirror and say “I Am Enough” …. because you are.

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“I’m Enough” By The Mrs.

Family, Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Parent, Resolutions, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Are You For Real” #RU4Real”

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One of my favorite stories is called “The Velveteen Rabbit”.  It’s about a Velveteen rabbit that longs to be real so that he could be special and not looked down by more expensive mechanical toys because “he was just a velveteen rabbit”.  Ironically, the Velveteen Rabbit feared becoming real, because when talking to his only friend, the Skin Horse, becoming real seemed painful.

On his journey of ‘becoming REAL’, he learns several important lessons, the core of which is reflected in the following passage:

 “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit to the Skin Horse,  “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

 “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

 “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

 “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

(Source – “The Velveteen Rabbit: How Toys Become Real” by Margery Williams)

So in the end the Velveteen Rabbit learned that being REAL was not about what he was on the outside or even what others said about him.   He learned that BEING REAL was about BECOMING REAL TO OURSELVES AND TO OTHERS and sometimes that might hurt.  He learned that when he allowed others to see him – the core of who he was, they loved him no matter what.  He learned that being real didn’t happen overnight but “bit by bit.” But most importantly he learned that being real was not about being like everybody else. Rather being real was about being himself and that was more than enough.

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Are you being real… to yourself?…with others?  If not, ask yourself “why? and commit to showing who you are “bit by bit”. In the end, the ones that matter, will stay. In the end, by allowing your light to shine, you will give others the courage to do the same.

Career, Goal Setting, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Resolutions, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Are You Dreaming?”

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“Every dream comes with a price. Nothing is free.  The dream is free, the journey is not.”  John Maxwell

 Like many of you reading this, I have had life challenges, some expected but many were not. Those challenges have put me on a journey of self-discovery and re-evaluation; a re-evaluation of what I deem to be truly important. It has caused me to really reflect both on what I am doing with my life and the type of person that I am becoming.  It’s caused me to think about my dreams and the realities of “why” I have not pursued some of those dreams.

Have you thought about why you have chosen not to pursue certain dreams, that “thing” that you know within your core is your destiny, your purpose; but for some reason you have not pursued “the dream”? What’s holding you back?   

To aid you in this self-discovery, consider the following key questions from one of my favorite motivational authors, John Maxwell. As you reflect on these questions, assess how real your dreams are and determine what you need to do to move from dreaming to doing:

  1. Is my dream really my dream? Are you living your dream or what others think you should do? Have you fully committed and bought into your own dreams?
  2.  Do I clearly see my dream?
  3.  Am I depending on things in my control or am I depending on things out of my control to achieve my dream? Do I have the skills, abilities, and talents to accomplish my dreams or do I need others to help me?
  4. Do I have the physical energy and passion to achieve my dream?
  5. Do I have a strategy to achieve my dream? 
  6. Who do I have around me that can help me achieve the dream?
  7.  Am I willing to the pay the price for my dream?
  8. Am I moving closer to my dream? Have I prioritized the activities that must be done daily to move me closer to achieving my dream? Is this activity that I am working on moving me closer of farther away from my dream?
  9. Am I enjoying the journey to my dream? Does my dream bring joy and excitement to my life?
  10. Does my dream benefit others? “Our dream really isn’t about us. It’s about the people we serve. How is your dream helping others? Be a river not a reservoir.” ~ John Maxwell

(Author of Questions – John Maxwell)

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  • Stop dreaming and start doing the things today to help you achieve your dreams for tomorrow. (Source – Valerie Burton, Motivational Author)
  • Balance focusing on the future with “maximizing your present moments on the journey so that your “daily life becomes richer and more enjoyable.” (Source – Valerie Burton, Motivational Author).
  • Finally, as you go about the business of doing and achieving, be mindful of who you are being and becoming. (Source – YOU)                        

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Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Resolutions, Starting Over, Uncategorized

Starting Over

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 “There is no disgrace to start over and begin anew. 

       Bebe Moore Campbell, Journalist & Writer

I was watching Dr. Phil and he said two profound statements that when I first heard them, I said “This is deep.” So I thought I would share with you.

  • Profound statement 1: Dr. Phil was talking to a father who had lost control of his kids and his family. There were many reasons but a key reason was that he was focused on giving things vs. giving time because he thought this would bring his family happiness. Dr. Phil sensed the frustration of the father and said to him “You are not a bad person. I know that you are willing to die for your family but are you willing to live for them.” This is when I had my first “this is deep moment.” I thought about what I value most and asked myself, am I fully present? Am I showing right now in my daily interactions and communications that I’m here for those people who mean the most to me vs thinking that I will have plenty of time in the future to show that I care.
  • Profound statement 2: “There are moments in life where all things wrong can be turned around.” As I reflect on the past 8 months of 2014, like many people I think about what went well, what went wrong, and what I want to be better moving forward. However, to truly have the life that we want, we have to decide to not let what happens to us in life make us become a passenger along for the ride. Rather, as motivational speaker Les Brown would say, we have to be the driver and say to ourselves “I got this. I am happening to life.” We all know that rough times will befall us but it is our reaction to it that impacts our success.  So when life happens and you fall down: GET BACK UPAND START OVER.  KNOW THAT YOUR DREAMS CAN BE YOUR REALITY – YOU JUST HAVE TO CLAIM YOUR DESTINY!!!

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Think about from a professional and personal level, what do you want to change for the better; what can you start over and begin anew? What’s in your control? Who are your resources that can help you achieve your goals?

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