Tag Archives: Living

Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Resolutions, Values

“Why Not Me”

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“I am not what happened to me.  I am what I choose to become.”

Emma Watson

In 2012, I had a procedure to remove vocal polyps. It was a procedure that prevented me from talking for 4 – 6 weeks.  It was my third vocal procedure in 3 years.

After my second procedure, my doctor advised me that I had a recurring condition, that he was  not sure why it was  recurring, and he didn’t know how often it would recur. Needless to say, the first thought that came to my mind was “Why me?” My mind then began to spin with thoughts such as:

1) My 3-year old son has never heard my real voice, will he ever?

2) I’ve been in HR for over 20 years and I need my voice, what am I going to do if this keeps happening?

3) What lesson am I suppose to be learning from this recurring event?

4) What else can happen to me?

After I allowed myself to think these unproductive thoughts and allowed my tears to dry, I gave myself a reality check. I began thinking about all of my prior life challenges that I have overcome. I just did not survive but I triumphed. So now instead of asking “Why me?” I ask myself, “Why Not Me?” What can I learn from this life challenge that will allow me to be a better person, to be a better giver of myself to those that I encounter, and to be a better mother to my young son?

Like all of us, I don’t know what tomorrow brings but why worry about what hasn’t happened. Fortunately, my doctor was able to identify the reason for the recurrence and I’m healthy today.

This experience, this challenge, has taught me the importance of my daily choices.

I choose to dream about tomorrow but live for today. I choose to learn, to love, to give. I choose to be living proof that with my faith coupled with positive actions that I am powerful beyond measure  and I can overcome anything. Instead of life happening to me, I choose to happen to life.

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What life challenges are you facing today? What can you learn from those challenges that will help you to move from victim to victor?

Communication, Life Lessons, Living, Starting Over

“I’m Just A Girl”

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“…. I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

Source – Movie “Notting Hill”

One of my favorite movies is “Notting Hill” with Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. A scene that resonates with me is when she goes to visit him post break-up to apologize for something she said to someone about him that he overheard and it was hurtful to him.

As you observe her face and body language, you can tell that she loves this man, she  wants to let him know that and she  wants his forgiveness. In turn, you know from his body language and face that he loves her but his pride, his hurt doesn’t allow him to pull her into his arms.  Rather, he tells her he can’t risk being hurt again and with her life as a movie star and his as a book store owner, they would never work out.  She swallows her pride and fear and say these simple words.

“…. I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

Think about those simple words. Think about the level of vulnerability she showed by “putting it out there”: I love you and I want you to love me. I know that I was wrong but I’m asking you to give me, give us,  another try. Think about the level of courage it took for her to risk not having her love reciprocated, to show that “little girl” side of her to the man that she wanted; to the man that she wanted to want them, to want her.

Have you had moments in life that you were afraid to be truly vulnerable. Were you afraid that:

  • If they saw you – without the layers, without the mask you present to the world, that they would not like or love you
  • If you saw you – without the layers, without the mask you present to the world, that you would not like or love yourself
  • You have pretended so long to be someone else that you don’t know who you are, so how can you be vulnerable to show what you don’t know.

If we are honest, we’ve all had a moment in time that we didn’t feel that we were enough or that if they saw the “real us” that they wouldn’t like or love us.

That was then and this is now. It’s time to Flip The Script

Imagine that if you chose to be vulnerable, that they would see the wonder and beauty of you. That they would love you more than you could imagine. That they would give you the greatest gift – they would show their vulnerability too.

I will admit that when I’ve shown my vulnerability to others, it hasn’t always worked out. But that’s okay. Why? Because, “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

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Although this was a movie, it is reflective of the masks that we put on in life. Although deep within, we may intensely want that relationship, that dream, that “thing”, we don’t say it because our fear of being vulnerable holds us back. Or maybe life has happened so much to us, we don’t think that we deserve that “thing” that we want most and we subconsciously (or consciously) sabotage ourselves.

Ask yourself if you are afraid to be vulnerable. If so, why?  Finally, ask yourself, what is one action that you can do today to move away from that fear so that you are not afraid to show your vulnerable little girl or  vulnerable little boy with those that share your world? 

Notting Hill Video 1: http://https://youtu.be/RESwG23_YGw

Notting Hill Video 2:  http://https://youtu.be/kE5IzU8KiJ4

Family, Legacy, Life Lessons, Making a Difference, Resolutions, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“I Am Enough” #imenough

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multi ethnic photo

I recently saw a You Tube video entitled “I’m Enough” by a band called The Mrs.  The video was focusing on uplifting women’s self- image, to help reinforce that we are more than what we see on the outside, we are an inspiration to those that love us.

Although the focus was on women, it is an impactful message for both men and women, boys and girls. So many of us grow up believing that we are not enough – not pretty enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not strong enough, etc.

But what if we flipped the script, and saw ourselves the way others see us. By others, I’m not talking about people who don’t know us or show through their actions that they don’t value us. By others, I mean the people who love us for just being ourselves. They “get” that what is most important about us is who we are and not what we are: Who – caring, giving, supportive, loving vs. What – nurse, doctor, teacher, homemaker. They “get” that we bring joy, inspiration, a sense of well-being, and much more to their lives.

So close your eyes, think of someone you love, that loves you. Now imagine, you are looking in a mirror. You see your reflection but you also see your love one who is telling you how much you mean to them, how much you impact their life in a positive way. Now open your eyes and embrace the feeling of those words. Look in the mirror and say “I Am Enough” …. because you are.

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“I’m Enough” By The Mrs.

Goal Setting, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Our Deepest Fear” #Faith

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What is your deepest fear?

Are you afraid of failure, success, love, fear itself? No matter what your fear, ask yourself, why have you given fear the power over your life. The power over you living the life that you know within your heart and soul is meant for you to live but fear keeps you “stuck” with going with the flow. Fear keeps you in the flow of existing vs. living. Fear keeps you from following what your inner voice, your deepest thoughts, your very soul is telling you…that YOUR DREAMS can become a reality if you can just let go of the fear.

If so, I challenge you today to Stand Up to Fear. Tell Fear it has to find a new place to live because it doesn’t live here anymore. Tell fear it’s been replaced with the new “F”in town – “FAITH”.

F:  FAITH.  Faith that during this temporary season of storms that you are facing, a rainbow is at the end. Faith that even when others don’t believe, your belief in you will be the foundation of your success.  Faith that if it is in your heart, it can’t be wrong because it’s part of who you are, it is  part of who you are evolving to be.

A: Attitude.  An attitude that says when you fall, you get up.

I:  Insight.  Insight to just get quiet and listen to your inner voice that will lead you to what is right for you; that will lead you to your destiny.

T: Trust. Trust in you. Trust in your dreams. Trust in your strength to deal with life’s struggles and not just survive but thrive.

H: Hope. When there is hope, fear is not an option, it is a temporary state of mind that you can quickly change to one of FAITH.

So have FAITH and let fear go on its’ way. You have better things to do. #FAITH

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For Inspiration, click on this YouTube Link: 

Source of Video: Coach Carter Movie.

 

Uncategorized

“The Most Important Words” #Important Words

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“Learn to speak kind words; no one resents them.”  Carl Rowan, Syndicated Columnist

Our words have power. Word can motivate, change us, change others, and inspire. Consider the following:

  • You see things and you say ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say ‘Why not?’” ~ George Bernard Shaw
  • You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.” ~ Leo Aikman
  • In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost
  • In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.  ~Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “If someone were to pay you 10 cents for every kind word you ever spoke and collect from you 5 cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?”  ~Unknown Source

 So think about your words because others do. Think before you speak and remember:

  • “The 6 most important words: I admit, I made a mistake.”
  • “The 5 most important words: You did a good job.”
  • “The 4 most important words: What is your opinion?”
  • “The 3 most important words: If you please.”
  • “The 2 most important words: Thank you.”
  • “The most important word: “We”

                                 (Source – Dennis Kimbro, Author)

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In the last week, have your words helped or hindered your relationships? Are the most important words used in your vocabulary on a daily basis? What can you do to be more mindful about the words you speak? 

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Family, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Sisters, Uncategorized

“I Was Here”

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On October 30, 2011, my oldest sister, Peggy, was diagnosed with Stage 4 liver cancer. On December 17, 2011, she passed.

Peggy’s passing got me to thinking about my own life. The choices that I have made and the choices that I chose not to make out of pride, fear, or uncertainty.

 It got me to thinking about the legacy that would I leave. Would my legacy paint a picture of a person that gave the best of who she was to those she met and those she loved, would my legacy be that I made a difference in someone else’s life, would my legacy show that I made a difference in my own life?

 As I ponder on my legacy, I recognize that our legacy starts with we do each day. “It’s what we do in between that matters.” (Source – Author Unknown)

 It’s like one of my favorite songs “Live  Like You Were Dying” (Source:  Tim McGraw).

Live as though your life matters. Dream as though life has no limits, only possibilities. Push beyond life’s challenges by listening to the lessons that each brings. Give the best of who you are to the world because you do make difference. Your presence, your existence, makes a difference to those you love, your co-workers, and your customers.

 As you progress through life and go about the business of being and becoming, will your legacy show”that you lived, that you loved, that you did, that you have done” (Source: “I Was Here”, sang by Beyoncé).  Will your legacy say, I WAS HERE.

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 What can you do each day to show that you are here?

 

 

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