Tag Archives: Personal Mastery

Communication, Life Lessons, Living, Starting Over

“I’m Just A Girl”

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“…. I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

Source – Movie “Notting Hill”

One of my favorite movies is “Notting Hill” with Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant. A scene that resonates with me is when she goes to visit him post break-up to apologize for something she said to someone about him that he overheard and it was hurtful to him.

As you observe her face and body language, you can tell that she loves this man, she  wants to let him know that and she  wants his forgiveness. In turn, you know from his body language and face that he loves her but his pride, his hurt doesn’t allow him to pull her into his arms.  Rather, he tells her he can’t risk being hurt again and with her life as a movie star and his as a book store owner, they would never work out.  She swallows her pride and fear and say these simple words.

“…. I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

Think about those simple words. Think about the level of vulnerability she showed by “putting it out there”: I love you and I want you to love me. I know that I was wrong but I’m asking you to give me, give us,  another try. Think about the level of courage it took for her to risk not having her love reciprocated, to show that “little girl” side of her to the man that she wanted; to the man that she wanted to want them, to want her.

Have you had moments in life that you were afraid to be truly vulnerable. Were you afraid that:

  • If they saw you – without the layers, without the mask you present to the world, that they would not like or love you
  • If you saw you – without the layers, without the mask you present to the world, that you would not like or love yourself
  • You have pretended so long to be someone else that you don’t know who you are, so how can you be vulnerable to show what you don’t know.

If we are honest, we’ve all had a moment in time that we didn’t feel that we were enough or that if they saw the “real us” that they wouldn’t like or love us.

That was then and this is now. It’s time to Flip The Script

Imagine that if you chose to be vulnerable, that they would see the wonder and beauty of you. That they would love you more than you could imagine. That they would give you the greatest gift – they would show their vulnerability too.

I will admit that when I’ve shown my vulnerability to others, it hasn’t always worked out. But that’s okay. Why? Because, “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

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Although this was a movie, it is reflective of the masks that we put on in life. Although deep within, we may intensely want that relationship, that dream, that “thing”, we don’t say it because our fear of being vulnerable holds us back. Or maybe life has happened so much to us, we don’t think that we deserve that “thing” that we want most and we subconsciously (or consciously) sabotage ourselves.

Ask yourself if you are afraid to be vulnerable. If so, why?  Finally, ask yourself, what is one action that you can do today to move away from that fear so that you are not afraid to show your vulnerable little girl or  vulnerable little boy with those that share your world? 

Notting Hill Video 1: http://https://youtu.be/RESwG23_YGw

Notting Hill Video 2:  http://https://youtu.be/kE5IzU8KiJ4

Family, Legacy, Life Lessons, Making a Difference, Resolutions, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“I Am Enough” #imenough

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multi ethnic photo

I recently saw a You Tube video entitled “I’m Enough” by a band called The Mrs.  The video was focusing on uplifting women’s self- image, to help reinforce that we are more than what we see on the outside, we are an inspiration to those that love us.

Although the focus was on women, it is an impactful message for both men and women, boys and girls. So many of us grow up believing that we are not enough – not pretty enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, not strong enough, etc.

But what if we flipped the script, and saw ourselves the way others see us. By others, I’m not talking about people who don’t know us or show through their actions that they don’t value us. By others, I mean the people who love us for just being ourselves. They “get” that what is most important about us is who we are and not what we are: Who – caring, giving, supportive, loving vs. What – nurse, doctor, teacher, homemaker. They “get” that we bring joy, inspiration, a sense of well-being, and much more to their lives.

So close your eyes, think of someone you love, that loves you. Now imagine, you are looking in a mirror. You see your reflection but you also see your love one who is telling you how much you mean to them, how much you impact their life in a positive way. Now open your eyes and embrace the feeling of those words. Look in the mirror and say “I Am Enough” …. because you are.

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“I’m Enough” By The Mrs.

Goal Setting, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Our Deepest Fear” #Faith

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What is your deepest fear?

Are you afraid of failure, success, love, fear itself? No matter what your fear, ask yourself, why have you given fear the power over your life. The power over you living the life that you know within your heart and soul is meant for you to live but fear keeps you “stuck” with going with the flow. Fear keeps you in the flow of existing vs. living. Fear keeps you from following what your inner voice, your deepest thoughts, your very soul is telling you…that YOUR DREAMS can become a reality if you can just let go of the fear.

If so, I challenge you today to Stand Up to Fear. Tell Fear it has to find a new place to live because it doesn’t live here anymore. Tell fear it’s been replaced with the new “F”in town – “FAITH”.

F:  FAITH.  Faith that during this temporary season of storms that you are facing, a rainbow is at the end. Faith that even when others don’t believe, your belief in you will be the foundation of your success.  Faith that if it is in your heart, it can’t be wrong because it’s part of who you are, it is  part of who you are evolving to be.

A: Attitude.  An attitude that says when you fall, you get up.

I:  Insight.  Insight to just get quiet and listen to your inner voice that will lead you to what is right for you; that will lead you to your destiny.

T: Trust. Trust in you. Trust in your dreams. Trust in your strength to deal with life’s struggles and not just survive but thrive.

H: Hope. When there is hope, fear is not an option, it is a temporary state of mind that you can quickly change to one of FAITH.

So have FAITH and let fear go on its’ way. You have better things to do. #FAITH

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For Inspiration, click on this YouTube Link: 

Source of Video: Coach Carter Movie.

 

Family, Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Living, Making a Difference, Parent, Resolutions, Starting Over, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Are You For Real” #RU4Real”

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One of my favorite stories is called “The Velveteen Rabbit”.  It’s about a Velveteen rabbit that longs to be real so that he could be special and not looked down by more expensive mechanical toys because “he was just a velveteen rabbit”.  Ironically, the Velveteen Rabbit feared becoming real, because when talking to his only friend, the Skin Horse, becoming real seemed painful.

On his journey of ‘becoming REAL’, he learns several important lessons, the core of which is reflected in the following passage:

 “What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit to the Skin Horse,  “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

 “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

 “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

 “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

(Source – “The Velveteen Rabbit: How Toys Become Real” by Margery Williams)

So in the end the Velveteen Rabbit learned that being REAL was not about what he was on the outside or even what others said about him.   He learned that BEING REAL was about BECOMING REAL TO OURSELVES AND TO OTHERS and sometimes that might hurt.  He learned that when he allowed others to see him – the core of who he was, they loved him no matter what.  He learned that being real didn’t happen overnight but “bit by bit.” But most importantly he learned that being real was not about being like everybody else. Rather being real was about being himself and that was more than enough.

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Are you being real… to yourself?…with others?  If not, ask yourself “why? and commit to showing who you are “bit by bit”. In the end, the ones that matter, will stay. In the end, by allowing your light to shine, you will give others the courage to do the same.

Career, Goal Setting, Legacy, Life Lessons, Living, Resolutions, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Are You Dreaming?”

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“Every dream comes with a price. Nothing is free.  The dream is free, the journey is not.”  John Maxwell

 Like many of you reading this, I have had life challenges, some expected but many were not. Those challenges have put me on a journey of self-discovery and re-evaluation; a re-evaluation of what I deem to be truly important. It has caused me to really reflect both on what I am doing with my life and the type of person that I am becoming.  It’s caused me to think about my dreams and the realities of “why” I have not pursued some of those dreams.

Have you thought about why you have chosen not to pursue certain dreams, that “thing” that you know within your core is your destiny, your purpose; but for some reason you have not pursued “the dream”? What’s holding you back?   

To aid you in this self-discovery, consider the following key questions from one of my favorite motivational authors, John Maxwell. As you reflect on these questions, assess how real your dreams are and determine what you need to do to move from dreaming to doing:

  1. Is my dream really my dream? Are you living your dream or what others think you should do? Have you fully committed and bought into your own dreams?
  2.  Do I clearly see my dream?
  3.  Am I depending on things in my control or am I depending on things out of my control to achieve my dream? Do I have the skills, abilities, and talents to accomplish my dreams or do I need others to help me?
  4. Do I have the physical energy and passion to achieve my dream?
  5. Do I have a strategy to achieve my dream? 
  6. Who do I have around me that can help me achieve the dream?
  7.  Am I willing to the pay the price for my dream?
  8. Am I moving closer to my dream? Have I prioritized the activities that must be done daily to move me closer to achieving my dream? Is this activity that I am working on moving me closer of farther away from my dream?
  9. Am I enjoying the journey to my dream? Does my dream bring joy and excitement to my life?
  10. Does my dream benefit others? “Our dream really isn’t about us. It’s about the people we serve. How is your dream helping others? Be a river not a reservoir.” ~ John Maxwell

(Author of Questions – John Maxwell)

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  • Stop dreaming and start doing the things today to help you achieve your dreams for tomorrow. (Source – Valerie Burton, Motivational Author)
  • Balance focusing on the future with “maximizing your present moments on the journey so that your “daily life becomes richer and more enjoyable.” (Source – Valerie Burton, Motivational Author).
  • Finally, as you go about the business of doing and achieving, be mindful of who you are being and becoming. (Source – YOU)                        

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Career, Goal Setting, Life Lessons, Success, Uncategorized, Values

“Success – How Do You Define It?”

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I’m often asked what it takes to be successful. Are there some key steps to achieving career success? With that in mind, I’d like to share some ideas on how to do that:

  • Core Values: Always remember that keeping the customer first, being innovative, having integrity and respect are not just catch-phrases but represent the core to an organization achieving long-term sustainable success. Keep this in mind when you have to make decisions that will be defining moments of your character.
  • Me, Inc.:  The days are gone when you could show up, do your work and expect to be noticed; therefore, you have to distinguish yourself through personal branding. Personal branding is more than just your external appearance, knowledge, skills and abilities; it’s linking all that to who you are at the heart – your values, your vision.
  • V2PR: Values, Vision, People, Results. 
    • Values – know upfront what your values are. You know what they are when you live them regardless of the reward or consequence. Once you know your values, determine if they are aligned with your organization’s values. Your organization needs you to be accountable to their core values because you are an integral part of their success.  
    • Vision – Understand where you want to go and again  determine if your vision is aligned with your organization’s vision; know what your resources are to achieve your goals and know that you help your organization achieve their vision when you meet and exceed performance expectations.
    • People – know that people, both internal and external customers,  are why your company and your job exists. Treat them with respect.
    • Results – know your key performance indicators (KPIs) and achieve them. That’s a key way to get noticed and recognized for being a valued contributor.

 All these elements will help you to be successful, to stand out as a personal brand. 

That’s what success is – preparing for opportunity before it happens so when it does, you can achieve your goals. “You can work hard at a job and make a living but if you work hard on you, you can make a fortune. A fortune not just related to money but a fortune in terms of knowing you have lived up to your potential.” (Source  of Quote – Author Unknown).

 Don’t fear failure. Rather fear not living up to the greatness that is within you.

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How do you define success? Are you taking action on a daily basis to achieve your goals? If not, what’s holding you back? If you knew you could not fail, what would you do?

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Goal Setting, Life Lessons

Making Your Bed

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When I was a little girl, my mom always told me to make my bed because it would be my first accomplishment of the day and because when someone walked into my room, it was a representation of me.

 When I got older, my Mom told me to be careful how I made my bed because one day, I might have to lie in it.

 When I first heard her say this, I thought, what is mom’s obsession with beds about? However, as I grew up and life happened to me, I realized my mom really was not teaching me about making beds but rather my mom was teaching me some important life lessons.

 Lesson 1) Making my bed in the morning was really about the importance of having a goal and then putting forth the effort to achieve it; it was also about the power of image – how what we present to the world through our words and actions creates a perception of who we are.

 Lesson 2) Being careful about how I made my bed because one day I might have to lie in it was just a gentle reminder that every action has a reaction. When we do what is right because it’s the right thing to do, we gain so much more – sometimes, we are not the direct benefactor but it may be a family member, a friend, or co-worker that does; however, when we focus on doing what is wrong, or doing whatever it takes to achieve a goal even when we know it’s wrong, there are consequences in that people view us in a negative light.

 There may be times when we see people who are intimidators or not forthright in their interactions  who appear to be achieving their goals but at what cost.  So always remember that achieving goals is great but how you achieve them is of greater importance. As you go about achieving your goals, be mindful of who you are being and becoming.

Lesson 3)  The final lesson that I learned is that our actions are really just a reflection of our thoughts.  If we focus on what we don’t want or like, we get more of it. However, if we focus on what’s in our control, what we want, we can achieve more than we ever believed that we could.

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 At the end of each day, ask yourself, have you been mindful of who you are as a person? Have you lived that day by doing what is right toward the people in your life –  both personally and professionally? Have you lived that day knowing that your actions and words reflect who you are? Have you lived that day where you can say “I was here”.

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